I have an Eagle Scout!

Yesterday was a wonderful day. Eric had his Eagle Court of Honor. I was such a proud Mom. I have two brothers that are Eagle Scouts and i don't think I ever realized what exactly they had to do to achieve this great accomplishment. I can now truly appreciate their perseverance.

I think of the people that have influenced Eric in achieving this great accomplishment and the first person I think of is my sweet husband Mike. He has supported our kids in everything they are involved in. Now Mike was not much of a scout himself, but as soon as Eric got involved, there Mike was too. I remember him spending hours with Eric helping him make his first pine wood derby car (which took first I might say). Anyone that knows Mike knows that he really doesn't enjoy camping, but that didn't stop him from going to scout campouts with Eric. Yesterday the Scout Master said that if he asked who Eric's best friends are he would bet that his Dad would be on the top of the list and I have to agree.

I also think of Keith Stewart. Keith has been in Scouts with Eric more years than I can count. Keith himself is an Eagle Scout and he had it in his head he was going to help these boys achieve the same goal he had. Keith is one of those men that never stops giving. Always devoting hours, money, and encouragement to help young boys grow into men. If it weren't for Keith I am not sure Eric would have been able to achieve this goal. Keith is one of those guys that remembers all the Scout leaders in his life that gave their time to him and is giving back to show his appreciation. What a great man!

I also think of Eric's friends that have already gotten their Eagle and have encouraged him to do the same. They also helped him with his project and that made his project that much easier.

It was a great day. Eric so appreciated all the friends and family that came to support him. I think the program went well and he enjoyed his day. I hope Eric will give back to other young men and help them accomplish the same goal of Eagle Scout.

A lesson in faith!

So this past week I got a little lesson in faith. I am a little nervous to share because my emotions are pretty raw right now, but since this blog is intended to be a journal here we go.
I found out this past week that I did not get into a nursing program I had my heart set on. I had made all the plans. Had my summer all planned out around it you get the picture. When I got the news I was devastated to say the least. I spent about two days crying my eyes out and all of those negative self defeating thought came into my head. Thank heavens for a wonderful husband and a Mom that I could cry to. I spent hours putting myself down and wondering if this is really what I am meant to do. I feel in my heart I am meant to be a nurse, but them when I have to take a Math test I freeze. When I originally applied to this school I wasn't sure if it was the right program for me so I took the attitude that if it was meant to be everything would work out. I literally turned it over to the Lord to direct me. I still believe the Heavenly Father has a hand in this and there is a reason. I am not sure what the reason is, but I am okay with that. My confidence is a little shaken and it will take me some time to gear up again, but I will continue on. As I was balling my eyes out last week all I could think of was what others would think of me. When does it ever end? I am 40 years old and still worry what others will think of my perceived failures. All I could focus in on was the "failures" maybe it's not the failures we should focus on but the journey and lessons learned along the way. I don't know what exactly is in store for me, but I will continue on with faith. I hope to always learn from the journey. As I sat in my house feeling sorry for myself I thought if only I had someone to talk to you. Just a good neighbor friend to go cry to. It was a lonely feeling and maybe I need to learn that there are others around me that need that friend. Is it possible that I need to tune into the spirit to be there for someone else? So many lessons to learn.

Not to ramble anymore, but some of you know I adore Hillary Weeks. My sister Kari told me about her blog and so I have become somewhat of a creeper and look at it once in awhile. In one of her posts she talks about recording everyday "how she saw the hand of the Lord in her life each day" I love that. Maybe I should take her advice and concentrate on the many blessings I have in my life. Time to let the negative thinking go and find joy in the journey!

Nothing is Impossible if we trust in the Lord!

I hope this post makes any sense and is not just a bunch of rambling. This morning I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and got myself ready to head in to my CNA class. Mind you this is the 3rd straight weekend of this and I am a little tired and overwhelmed. Now I don't know about you, but when I put those two things together tears seem to flow pretty easily. I have not been to church for 3 weeks now and next week will be traveling back from Idaho following my nieces baptism so that will make 4 straight weeks. I have often wondered if I will have the strength when my kids are grown and gone to go to church alone, but after these past weeks I don't know how I will have any strength if I don't go. I decided the first Sunday I drove into my class I would take some of my church CD's in the car with me to be uplifted and that would be my form of church. That was a good idea. A few Sundays ago I listened to Alex Boye sing "Nothings Impossible" (love him). Just what I needed to hear. Then this morning as I was leaving the house I went in to kiss Katy goodbye since she was headed back to Cedar today (which I didn't get to spend nearly enough time with her due to my classes)
and as I was hugging her the tears started to flow. Not a strong Mom! Katy said Mom "I know you are overwhelmed, but you can do it and I am so proud of you." I know I keep saying it, but I love that girl. So I got in my car this morning and started "my church" for today as I drove and another song came on about a mother feeling like she could never get enough done, always feeling inadequate and basically wondering if she was going to make it. In the song it talks about how our Savior fed many people with just a couple fish and some bread. You get the picture. It went on to remind me that if we rely on him we can do anything. I don't think that means it's going to be easy, but easier with his help.

I have spent so much time wondering why I am putting myself and my family through this. Mike makes a good living and we are not suffering, but I have had this dream for many years now to be a nurse and I want to accomplish it before it's too late. Now I know it would have been smart to do when I was a young woman just out of high school, but at that time in my life I really just wanted to be a wife and mother. I seriously could not think of anything else I wanted to be so that is what I did. I love being both a wife and mother, but then about 10 years ago through a few different experiences it came to me what my 2nd hearts desire was to be a nurse. Now I have never been a stellar student. I have to work very hard for the grades I get and sometimes a C+ is my best. But I can do this if I trust in the Lord and ask for his help. I may need some of you to remind me of this when I doubt myself again. My Mom went to nursing school after her divorce. She had 6 kids me being the oldest (18) and the youngest (8). She told me that how she got through was reading her scriptures and praying for the Lord to help her. What a great example to me. If my Mom can do it in her circumstance then I can do it. So to any of you that have those self doubts like I do way too often let's rely on the Lord a little more so we can feel peace and accomplish what seems impossible!

I'm in a blog rut!

So I keep thinking I need to post something, but feel like I don't have much to say. I keep wondering if it's worth continuing to blog. It just seems like one more thing I don't seem to find time to do. Then this morning I found a binder of past posts that I printed and put in a binder (my form of journaling/scrapbooking) and thought maybe I shouldn't give it up. I use to be so good at keeping up my journal and life got busier and I gave it up so I guess if I even take just a few minutes every now and then atleast we will have something written about our lives.

So here is just a brief summary of silly things going on in the life of the Keils.

Mike is the best husband, father, and friend I could ever ask for. I don't mean to brag, but I am pretty happy to have him. He hit 44 and the dreaded eye site went so now he is sporting some new glasses. I keep telling him they look sexy, which of course Eric cringes over. He is so busy with work, but still finds the time to go to the gym with Eric and hit the Xbox for some NCAA playing time. Eric has been struggling with friends so Mike has stepped right in.

I am a little stressed at the moment. I am enrolled in a CNA course which is all day Saturday and Sunday for 3 weeks plus 4 clinical days on top of that. I am applying to a nursing program and am nervous I won't get in and yet am very nervous that I may get in. Does that make sense? I know that if I get in, our lives will change drastically for 2 years. I have just left it in the Lord's hands. If it's meant to be it will all work out.

Katy has started her 2nd semester at SUU and is enjoying it. I think she loves the freedom that College life brings. She's been on a few dates and of course I am constantly trying to get all the details. I keep giving her tips on flirting (I don't know why since I was not good at it myself) but I think she just thinks I am pretty much a creeper! I am so proud she is going to College and making good decisions for her life. I have really missed her I keep telling her if she wasn't my daughter I would pick her for a friend because she's just a great young woman and so fun to be with.

Eric is plugging along with his Sophomore year. It's been an adjustment not having Katy at school with him. He really enjoyed having his older sister with him last year. I am so happy when I see how much my kids love each other. Now don't get me wrong they have had their moments of being annoyed with each other and even having arguments. But for the most part they have been pretty good to each other. I hear people talk all the time about how much their kids fight and I feel so blessed that is rare at our house. Eric just passed his board of review and will be getting his Eagle Scout award in the near future. Aw relief! Great Scout leaders make such a difference! He will be trying out for the high school soccer team pretty soon too.

So we continue to stay busy, but life is good. I feel so blessed that we have good health and steady jobs. I have a dear friend who is so positive and always looks for the good things in every situation and I am making it my goal this year to become more like her. Life is hard at times, but when we concentrate on the good happiness shines through!

We Are Family

I know I haven't posted in such a long time and this post is mostly me just needing a place to put my feelings down. So I apologize now to all of you that may not want to hear my ranting so with that in mind you may want to just ignore this post now.
I love the song "We Are Family" (I think by Sister Sledge). What does it mean to be a family?
Due to a recent incident, I have spent some time pondering our relationships as family members. How is that sometimes we hurt the people we are suppose to love the most? I grew up in a large family and I can tell you many great qualities each of my siblings have. I could probably tell you some that aren't so great just as they can do the same with me. When we were little my brothers and sisters got on my nerves, but I can tell you that I adored each one of them. To this day they are some of most favorite people. I know at times I say and do the wrong things. I hope that they will forgive me and look beyond my imperfections. I wonder if sometimes we let silly things that get said destroy our relationships. Do we look for reasons to be offened when no offense was meant? I have done that at times. I honestly think that most of us never intend on offending each other. We are just human and say the wrong thing or don't think before we say it. I feel so strongly that when we are a family we need to overlook the small things that we choose to turn into much more than was ever intended. This life is meant to be a place that we build relationships as families not destroy them.

I guess what I am really trying to say is that I am sorry if I have offended the people I love the most. I understand now what my Mom has always said "that someday it will just be you and your brothers and sisters will you be friends?" I hope to always be close to my siblings and teach my children that there is no greater joy in life then being close as a family. I know this makes no sense to many of you, but it's a reminder to me to overlook the silly things in life and if something really bothers me to discuss it with that person. I think when we really sit down and discuss things we find out that people really never meant to hurt us. I love all of my family members and hope that our realtionships will only grow to be stronger throughout the years. Life is way to short to spend time being mad and not enjoying life together. Some of the best advice my Mom gave me on my wedding day was not to sweat the small stuff.

My 40th Birthday!

I am a little slow getting this posted with everything going on it has taken me awhile. On November 14th I turned the big 40. I really wasn't dreading it like I thought I would. Age is in the attitude or something like that. It's funny to hear these young girls at work talk about how old they feel because they are turning 30. I just kind of laugh. I remember saying that too and now 30 seems like a baby to me.
The day before my birthday Mike and the kids took me to Park City for the night. We had a wonderful steak dinner and just hung out together. On my birthday we went shopping (one of my favorite activities) at the outlets and then headed home. Katy had planned a special birthday party for me. Katy, Eric, and Marissa (Katy's best friend) spent a lot of time making and decorating my birthday cake. It was beautiful, but I was a little concerned when they warned me that I may not want to eat it. They were afraid the black frosting would stay on my teeth for an extended period of time. Mike bought us dinner from Cafe Rio and we ate on china. Katy went to a lot of trouble to make everything so nice. She decorated the house, set the table with china and we ate by candle light. It was just our little family plus Marissa (she's one my kids too). After dinner we played cards. The birthday cards that everyone gave me were the best part. It was just a really great day. Everyone should feel special on their birthday and I definitely did. If any of you are dreading an upcoming birthday just embrace it and look forward to what the next year will bring!

We're Going To Miss Grandpa Frank!

This past Tuesday Mike's Dad Frank passed away peacefully at home. We went to Texas only two weeks ago to see him due to his declining health. What a blessing that was for us to see him one last time. We will forever be grateful we followed our hearts and went to visit. Although we are saddened we are relieved that he is out of pain and reunited with loved ones that passed before him.

Grandpa Frank was an incredible Grandpa. He loved holding babies and always jumped at the opportunity to hold our kids or any other sweet baby near by. He always made Katy and Eric feel like they were the neatest kids in the world. He was very good at drawing and spent lots of time drawing pictures with the kids. When we played Pictionary everyone wanted to be on his team. When he played games with us we knew there would be lots of laughs in store. Grandpa loved vacationing in Mexico and was kind enough to take us with them. Now we love Mexico just as much. We will cherish the many memories of vacationing in the water and the beach with him.

Anyone that knew him knew he was intelligent and very well informed on politics. He was a master musician. I was always so amazed that he taught himself to play the piano and boy could he play. Mike's cousin recently posted a video of Frank playing the piano and Katy has spent many times this week watching it. Anyone that knew him knew that he had a deep love for Grandma Lynn. He adored her! He was so proud of his two children Mike and Cheryl. He accepted me into his family nearly 20 years ago. Always respecting my beliefs and making me feel like I was a valued part of the family. He always supported Katy and Eric in everything they did. Whether it was dance performances, soccer games, baptisms, primary programs and the list could go on. He was a generous man. Always eager to help another person. Whether it be playing the piano at special functions, letting people live with them when they needed a helping hand, and even taking in stray cats looking for a home. Frank took the time to get to know my family. My brothers and sisters always felt like he was truly interested in them. He accepted my family just like they were his family.

I am a better person for knowing Frank Keil and feel so blessed that he helped raise a son that respects me, treats me with compassion and love. I am so thankful my children felt like when they were with their Grandpa they were truly special. It will be a great reunion one day when we meet again. We love you Grandpa Frank!