Sunday, January 31, 2010

Nothing is Impossible if we trust in the Lord!

I hope this post makes any sense and is not just a bunch of rambling. This morning I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and got myself ready to head in to my CNA class. Mind you this is the 3rd straight weekend of this and I am a little tired and overwhelmed. Now I don't know about you, but when I put those two things together tears seem to flow pretty easily. I have not been to church for 3 weeks now and next week will be traveling back from Idaho following my nieces baptism so that will make 4 straight weeks. I have often wondered if I will have the strength when my kids are grown and gone to go to church alone, but after these past weeks I don't know how I will have any strength if I don't go. I decided the first Sunday I drove into my class I would take some of my church CD's in the car with me to be uplifted and that would be my form of church. That was a good idea. A few Sundays ago I listened to Alex Boye sing "Nothings Impossible" (love him). Just what I needed to hear. Then this morning as I was leaving the house I went in to kiss Katy goodbye since she was headed back to Cedar today (which I didn't get to spend nearly enough time with her due to my classes)
and as I was hugging her the tears started to flow. Not a strong Mom! Katy said Mom "I know you are overwhelmed, but you can do it and I am so proud of you." I know I keep saying it, but I love that girl. So I got in my car this morning and started "my church" for today as I drove and another song came on about a mother feeling like she could never get enough done, always feeling inadequate and basically wondering if she was going to make it. In the song it talks about how our Savior fed many people with just a couple fish and some bread. You get the picture. It went on to remind me that if we rely on him we can do anything. I don't think that means it's going to be easy, but easier with his help.

I have spent so much time wondering why I am putting myself and my family through this. Mike makes a good living and we are not suffering, but I have had this dream for many years now to be a nurse and I want to accomplish it before it's too late. Now I know it would have been smart to do when I was a young woman just out of high school, but at that time in my life I really just wanted to be a wife and mother. I seriously could not think of anything else I wanted to be so that is what I did. I love being both a wife and mother, but then about 10 years ago through a few different experiences it came to me what my 2nd hearts desire was to be a nurse. Now I have never been a stellar student. I have to work very hard for the grades I get and sometimes a C+ is my best. But I can do this if I trust in the Lord and ask for his help. I may need some of you to remind me of this when I doubt myself again. My Mom went to nursing school after her divorce. She had 6 kids me being the oldest (18) and the youngest (8). She told me that how she got through was reading her scriptures and praying for the Lord to help her. What a great example to me. If my Mom can do it in her circumstance then I can do it. So to any of you that have those self doubts like I do way too often let's rely on the Lord a little more so we can feel peace and accomplish what seems impossible!

Friday, January 22, 2010

I'm in a blog rut!

So I keep thinking I need to post something, but feel like I don't have much to say. I keep wondering if it's worth continuing to blog. It just seems like one more thing I don't seem to find time to do. Then this morning I found a binder of past posts that I printed and put in a binder (my form of journaling/scrapbooking) and thought maybe I shouldn't give it up. I use to be so good at keeping up my journal and life got busier and I gave it up so I guess if I even take just a few minutes every now and then atleast we will have something written about our lives.

So here is just a brief summary of silly things going on in the life of the Keils.

Mike is the best husband, father, and friend I could ever ask for. I don't mean to brag, but I am pretty happy to have him. He hit 44 and the dreaded eye site went so now he is sporting some new glasses. I keep telling him they look sexy, which of course Eric cringes over. He is so busy with work, but still finds the time to go to the gym with Eric and hit the Xbox for some NCAA playing time. Eric has been struggling with friends so Mike has stepped right in.

I am a little stressed at the moment. I am enrolled in a CNA course which is all day Saturday and Sunday for 3 weeks plus 4 clinical days on top of that. I am applying to a nursing program and am nervous I won't get in and yet am very nervous that I may get in. Does that make sense? I know that if I get in, our lives will change drastically for 2 years. I have just left it in the Lord's hands. If it's meant to be it will all work out.

Katy has started her 2nd semester at SUU and is enjoying it. I think she loves the freedom that College life brings. She's been on a few dates and of course I am constantly trying to get all the details. I keep giving her tips on flirting (I don't know why since I was not good at it myself) but I think she just thinks I am pretty much a creeper! I am so proud she is going to College and making good decisions for her life. I have really missed her I keep telling her if she wasn't my daughter I would pick her for a friend because she's just a great young woman and so fun to be with.

Eric is plugging along with his Sophomore year. It's been an adjustment not having Katy at school with him. He really enjoyed having his older sister with him last year. I am so happy when I see how much my kids love each other. Now don't get me wrong they have had their moments of being annoyed with each other and even having arguments. But for the most part they have been pretty good to each other. I hear people talk all the time about how much their kids fight and I feel so blessed that is rare at our house. Eric just passed his board of review and will be getting his Eagle Scout award in the near future. Aw relief! Great Scout leaders make such a difference! He will be trying out for the high school soccer team pretty soon too.

So we continue to stay busy, but life is good. I feel so blessed that we have good health and steady jobs. I have a dear friend who is so positive and always looks for the good things in every situation and I am making it my goal this year to become more like her. Life is hard at times, but when we concentrate on the good happiness shines through!