Thursday, September 2, 2010
Three Year Anniversary!
I've debated for awhile now if I should do a post on this and finally decided this is my journal and I can put it in there. On September 4th it will be my 3 year anniversary after having weight loss surgery. This picture was taken the day before I had surgery. I've been thinking what I learned from this whole process and thought I would share my thoughts. Having surgery was the hardest thing I have ever done. I thought about it for many years before I made the decision to do it. I was so afraid I was going to die. I had heard all the horror stories. I just knew I couldn't live like that anymore though. Once I made the decision I was afraid to tell anyone I didn't need to hear anymore stories. I told very few people before I did it. I remember the day of surgery I was scared to death. I thought I was going to jump off the table when I was waiting to go into the OR. After the surgery it was rough. If I hadn't had the support of my family and some good friends I don't if I would have made it.
What I have learned through this process is that you need to love yourself no matter what size you are. I am still the same person as I was 3 years ago. I am a little more confident and I can do more things that I couldn't with the extra weight, but I am still me. I got so caught up in the negative self talk that I couldn't live my best life. I now realize what I did to my daughter by all the negative comments I made about myself. I really wish I hadn't done that. I should have been teaching her that no matter what size I was that I was still a good person.
People ask me all the time if I am glad I did the surgery and I reply with a yes, but I sure wouldn't want to do it again. I get to enjoy so many more things with my family now, but more than that I feel healthy. Health is what it is all about. I want to live many more years with my family. I remember the first time I jumped on the trampoline with my kids. I started crying. I had looked at that trampoline for years and just wanted to jump with them. Then once I could jump with them I had to worry about wetting my pants. Oh the joys of being a woman.
I am so thankful that Mike loved me all those years whether I was 250lbs. or not. He always told me that I was beautiful no matter what size I was. I am so blessed to be married to a great man.